Keeping us safe from marauding queue jumpers
Welcome back.
Didyahavagoodone? We sure did — me, the partner and sprogs. Made all the right moves and spent the preceding period stretched out like a lizard drinking. On a beach no less. Happy little vegemites doing our all to catch the rays of the sun through our 15+ slop and all the slip and slap we could muster.
The world could have gone to the dogs as far as we were concerned. Pain, misery and heartache — poverty and oppression — who needs such things when you're trying to catch a Pacific Ocean wave on a boogie board while the tide's right?
You may pause briefly and ask: I wonder what the poor people are doing today? — but the feeling soon passes and you take another pull on the amber fluid and get back to the crossword.
I'm not being selfish, but sometimes I think I'm a lucky bastard. I do. I say to myself — albeit not very often and certainly not as often as I'd like — you've got it made. I am an Australian. You beauty mate! You, me and the other fella are all girt by sea — a substance renowned for keeping the rest of the world away. Let's hear it for girtedness! Our home is girt by immense quantities of it.
I can wrap myself up in the flag each night and sleep soundly knowing the our shores will be kept safe from marauding queue jumpers. Whoever they may be, we don't want them impinging on the good life down under do we? We got here first. And as Alice was told in Wonderland some time back: "No room! No room!".
Stuff 'em. When you're on a good thing you tend to keep it to yourself. Whoever dug the moat around fortress Australia knew a thing or two about this teeming planet and its multitudinous problems. Spare us, why don't ya? We've got a wave to catch.
On the other hand, I'm sure glad this business with the boat folk is a new phenomenon. Golly, if economic refugees were persona non gratis back when the forbears sailed southward I wouldn't be here today. Makes one think, it does. When your hardship is acting up, any boat tied up to the quay is sure to make you think about pulling up stakes.
Fortunately, the Commonwealth of Australia has drawn a line in the water and told them all to piss off. Whoever they are, we don't care. On our glorious golden sand beaches this summer, trespass will not tolerated.
No dogs and definitely no refugees — by order of the Town Clerk.
They get in the way of our view of the water.
By Dave Riley
<dhell@ozemail.com.au>