By Kevin Healy
It was a week when Phil Cleary won the Wills by-election, but absolutely nobody lost. Even though both the Coalition candidate, Mr Delacrumb, and the socialist candidate, Mr Couldamissedus, both knew from the outset that they couldn't win, by the end of the campaign it seemed that everyone would win.
A few days before the voting, all the government people and all the opposition people pointed out that if Cleary won, then in reality it was a win for them.
"If Cleary wins, it's easily a win for the world's greatest worst ex-treasurer Paul", said the ALP state secretary for the time being, "a clear electoral indictment of the opposition's Dieback package".
"If Cleary wins, it's easily a win for John Hewthem's Dieback package", the Coalition said, "a clear electoral indictment of the government's One Urination package".
The real issue in the by-election was jobs, jobs, jobs. Paul concentrated on the clothing sector, telling workers he would do all he could to preserve their jobs. As a worker attempted to touch him, Paul pulled back. "Careful — these imported suits don't come cheap", he pointed out.
Down at the Can't Afford More Wages car plant, John said saving the car industry was his priority. As a worker attempted to reach in and touch him, John wound up the window. "Careful — these Ferraris don't come cheap", he said.
Meanwhile, Premier Joannie Learner yet again supported the public sector when she agreed with a report that the airport should be sold to the private sector or, better still, given to it. "This will make it much more efficient", she said.
There's another state minister who played the factional eclectic in my Young Labor days many years ago, who would have fallen about laughing before arguing you were a hard left ratbag if you had suggested then that he would be responsible for selling off the SEC to the private sector. Well, this week he did it — and explained just how much more efficient it would be, and how irresponsible the unions and workers would be if they took any action to save their wages and conditions and jobs. Obviously, he's seen the white — uh, I mean the light.