Itās time the Israeli governmentās PR team made the most of its talents, and became available for hire.
Then, whenever a nutcase marched into a shopping mall in somewhere like Wisconsin and gunned down a selection of passers-by, they could be on hand to tell the worldās press: āThe gunman regrets the loss of life but did all he could to avoid violence.ā
Then various governments would issue statements saying: āAll we know is a man went berserk with an AK47, and next to him thereās a pile of corpses, so until we know the facts we canāt pass judgement on what took place.ā
To strengthen their case the Israelis have released a photo of the weapons they found onboard the boats of the Freedom Flotilla, (which amount to some knives and tools and wooden sticks) that the naive might think youād expect to find on any ship, but the more astute will recognise as exactly what youād carry if you were planning to defeat the Israeli army.
Itās an armoury smaller than youād find in the average toolshed in a garden in Cirencester, which goes to show the Israelis had better destroy Cirencester quickly as an essential act of self-defence.
Itās a shame they werenāt more imaginative, as they could have said: āWe also discovered a deadly barometer, a shipās compass, which could not only be frisbeed at someoneās head but even had markings to help the assailant know which direction he was throwing it, and a set of binoculars that could easily be converted into a ray-gun.ā
That would be as logical as the statement from the Israeli PMās spokesman, which was: āWe made every possible effort to avoid this incident.ā
Because the one tiny thing they forgot to do to avoid this incident was not send in armed militia from helicopters in the middle of the night and shoot people. I must be a natural at this sort of technique because I often go all day without climbing off a helicopter and shooting people, and I'm not even making every possible effort.
Politicians and commentators worldwide repeat a version of this line. Theyāre aware a nation has sent its militia to confront people carrying provisions for the desperate, in the process shooting several of them dead, and yet they angrily blame the dead ones.
One typical headline yesterday read, āActivists got what they wanted ā confrontationā. Itās an attitude so deranged it deserves to be registered as a psychosis, something like āReverse Slaughter Victim Confusion Syndromeā.
Israel and its supporters claim that Viva Palestina, made up of people who collect the donated food, cement and items for providing basic amenities such as toilets, and transport them to Gaza, wanted the violence all along.
Because, presumably, they must have been thinking, āHezbollah couldnāt beat them, but thatās because unlike us they didnāt have a ballcock and several boxes of plum tomatoesā.
One article told us the flotilla was full of āThugs spoiling for a confrontationā, and then accused them of being āLess about aid and more about PR. Indeed, on board was Swedish novelist Henning Mankell.ā
So were they thugs or about PR? Did they have a thugsā section and a PR quarter, or did they all muck in, the novelist diverting the soldiers with his characterisation while the thugs attacked them with a lethal spirit level?
But some defenders of Israel are so blind to what happens in front of them thereās nothing at all they wouldnāt jump to defend. Israel could blow up a cats home and within five minutes theyād be yelling: āHow do we know the cats werenāt smuggling semtex in their fur for Hamas?ā
If this incident had been carried about by Iran, or anyone we were trying to portray as an enemy, so much condemnation would have been spewed out it would have created a vast cloud of outrage that airlines would be unable to fly through.
But as its Israel, most governments offer a few diplomatic words that blame no one, but accept the deaths are āregrettableā. They might as well have picked any random word from the dictionary, so the news would tell us āWilliam Hague described the deaths as āhexagonalāā, and a statement from the US senate said: āItās all very confusing. In future letās hope they make every effort to avoid a similar incident.ā
[Reprinted from . Mark Steel is a British socialist and comedian, with a regular column in the British Independent.]