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But we'll pretend it does

"The theoretical notion of a completely free market does not exist in practice. It never has existed and it never will exist." — John Hewson.

Realistic

A group of Liberals in Alice Springs has invented a board game designed to popularise the party's Fightback! policies. Players are assigned roles by a throw of the dice. "Some, born of an inheritance, get $300,000 profits from a business every time they pass Go ... the unemployed get $12,000", reports the Financial Review.

Majorities aren't what they used to be

Finance minister Ralph Willis "noted a survey of 885 companies ... which said a growing majority planned to take on new employees ... The survey said 22 per cent of companies planned to hire new staff ..." — Sydney Morning Herald, October 16.

Charitable

"Violent men in our society have to modify their behaviour, so why can't gay people? Mind you, I don't think they should be beaten up or anything." — Anglican priest Father David Johnson from the parish of St Paul in Launceston.

The recession's over?

"Changes in working conditions in many of our client companies have resulted in requests for some unusual courses.

• Managing part-time staff
  
  • Assertiveness for credit and collection ...
    
    • Delivering bad news
      
      • Managing the new team (A.K.A. Managing the survivors)" — Advertisement by a management training and development company.

      Optimist

      "In years to come the distinction between Defence and commercial products technologies and practices will become less and less distinct." — British Aerospace executive, in a paper from the June conference on Commercialisation of Defence.