To whom it may concern
I'm not one prone to whingeing. I take what the world dishes out on the chin because that's the kind of person I am: forthright, earnest, straight as a die.
However — and I say this only because I think I've earned the right to say it — some things get my goat (whatever that means). One thing in particular has annoyed me no end and I just have to lodge a complaint with anyone who may grant me an audience.
Given that I don't normally do this, you'll have to make an extra special point of giving me your undivided attention. Feel free to take notes for later reference if you so desire, and follow up any lingering questions that may remain by writing to me via the next available post.
Having established the ground rules, and after making the assumption that you, having read so far, are sure to read on, I can now proceed with my singular complaint:
To: Whom it may concern
From: D.J. Riley
Re: Current Indonesian events
Every time I go to write down some comment about current events in Indonesia, before I know it, the situation changes and I have to write it down all over again. I can only do so much before I'm plumb tuckered out. One day it's this and the next day it's that.
Why can't those Indonesians settle down? Give it a rest! I've only got two hands here!
What do you think about may complaint? I don't know if you can do anything about it — the situation there is (as is usually described in my journalistic circles) "volatile". It's all very fine for them marching up and down all day as they do, throwing out dictators and shuffling for position. But what about me!
It's my lot to come up with something profound about it all every now and then. And that's bloody difficult. I wasn't born into a life of profundity, you know. I had to struggle hard and long all my life to come up with something interesting to say. It's not easy being me, I tell you.
If those folk over there could just bear me in mind next time they occupy some place or other, I'd appreciate it. At the rate they're going, it could be months before I'll get a clear shot.
And while they're doing what they do, all the other issues are just second-rate. They simply don't have the same pizazz as this festival of the oppressed now in progress next door. When you stop and think for a moment, every other snippet of current affairs is just plain boring.
Hey! How about that! Maybe I have actually said something profound?
By Dave Riley